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It is the mainstay of the unavailables of this world – beware! You want a relationship, not a permanent date or repetitive strain injury from tippy tapping all the time.

In New York, I’d been feisty and outspoken, confident in my smarts and my Irish looks.Millions, in fact billions of people are still making calls every day, so why are we making so many excuses for the commitment dodging, intimacy afraid, no telephone call making, text messaging lovers of this world?How have so many people managed to convince themselves that there’s a revolution in communication taking place that means that you can actually believe you’re in a relationship with someone who lives in the same postcode/area code as you and slips you dinner, drinks, and a shag periodically but they rarely, if ever pick up the phone? I’ve heard from far too many readers that are struggling to get over someone that they were with for anything from a few weeks to several years who they only spoke with on the phone occasionally. I’m thinking reminders to get milk, letting one another know that you’re on the way, you’re running five minutes late, that you’re home, that you had a great time, that you tried to call and to call you back when you’re free, you’re going into a meeting but looking forward to catching up later, goodnight, good morning and yes, even the odd dirty text if that’s what floats your boat.The truth is, they’re just not that special and you’re not that busy. Whether you’re making excuses for them or you, it’s time to ask yourself how you ever really expect to have a relationship that can grow? If you’re the one who loves the texting, you’re trying to have it on your terms and put out a little to get a lot. Start as you mean to go on – don’t let your relationship be managed by text because you’ll end up all on their distant and very shady terms and there is no point trying to close the door after the horse has bolted as you’ve already shown you’re OK with crumb communications.If you’re the one that’s being managed by text, you’re getting sold on words while building a sandcastle in the sky. It actually often takes more time to write a text than it does to make a phone call. If they refuse to call, don’t try to waste your time teaching them – they haven’t just come out of the womb into 2011.

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